Parody of I Will Survive: I Shall Survive

At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Woke up with a total
minger lying by my side
Cos I spent so many nights
drinking loads and loads of beer
I grew pissed and I drank without no fear

and you're a slag, from outer space
I just woke up to find you here
with that sick pig ugly face
I should have changed my fucking lock and got a brand new key
I'm developing a rash
and its burning when i pee

Go on now go, get out my flat
just turn around now
you skanky little Twat, weren't you the one who tried to mount me in the pub
you got me drunk and dragged me in a shrub
Oh no, VD, I shall survive
as long as i get a jab
I know I'll stay alive
I've got loads of sex to give
and I really want to live, and I'll survive
I shall survive

It took all the strength I had, from the very start
she had real bad wind and liked to belch and fart
and I spent most of last night, having sex with this whore 
I'm feeling slightly nautious and my balls are slightly sore
and you see me
somebody drunk
You're a fucked up little person
that smokes a lot of skunk, and so you felt like dropping in
and just expect to mount me
now I'm going to the clinic
To check i aint got VD

Go on now go get out my life
just turn around now
you're getting me in strife, weren't you the one who tried to mount me in the pub
you got me drunk and dragged me in a shrub
Oh no you skank, I shall survive
as long as i get a jab
I know I'll stay alive
I've got loads of sex to give
and I really want to live, and I'll survive
I shall survive

Parody of Don't you want me Baby? : Don't you want my babies?

VERSE 1:
You were working on a checkout 
In a Tesco's store
When I met you
I bought some detergent 
And some condoms
cos i wanted a screw
Now five years later on
you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget
It's me who put you where you are now
instead of checking prices for mange tout

PRE CHORUS:
Don't, don't you want them
You know I can't believe it
When I hear that you won't shag me
Don't, don't you want them
You know I don't believe you
When you say that you don't yearn for me
Your legs were open wide
and then you changed your mind
You'd better change it back
Or you'll be fucking sorry

CHORUS:
Don't you want my babies 
Don't you want them, oh
Don't you want my babies 
Don't you want them, oh

VERSE 2:
I was working on a checkout 
In a Tesco's store
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find
A much better job
Either with or without you
The five years we have had
Have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time
I lived my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do

PRE CHORUS:
Don't, don't you want them
You know I can't believe it
When I hear that you won't shag me
Don't, don't you want them
You know I don't believe you
When you say that you don't want it
your legs were open wide
and now you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back
Or you'll be fucking be sorry

CHORUS:
Don't you want my babies? 
Don't you want them, oh
Don't you want my babies?
Don't you want them, oh

Parody of Ice Ice Baby : Drink Drink Baby

Yo, Barman, Let's Pour it! 

Drink Drink Baby, Drink Drink Baby
All right stop, Collaborate and listen 
Lee is back watch my pint glass glisten 
The need for booze grabs a hold of me tightly
Lager flows down my gullet daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know 
Pour me a drink and I'll glow
To the extreme I drink to excess like a vandal
Light up a stage and still drink more than you can handle.

Drink, Bum rush the vodka then boom 
I'm killing my liver like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I drink some shots heavily 
Anything less than George Best is a felony
Love it dont leave it, i just wanna say 
You better have stamina, cos Lee don't play
If there's some booze, Yo, I'll drink it
Check out my swig while my barman pours it

Refrain:
drink, drink baby
I like to drink drink baby
I like to drink drink baby
Lee Greenfield drinks drinks baby
Lee

Now that the party is jumping 
The Sambuka's kicked in, my heart is pumpin'
Quick to the pint, to the pint no faking
I'm knocking them back they're mine for the taking
Burning them cos theyreshots so simple 
Served up in what looks like a thimble 
And i down that with a souped up gusto
I'm on a roll and it's time to drink solo 
Pissed up' in my 5.0
With my jeans down so some bird can blow
The girlies on standby, Waving just to say Hi
Did you stop? No -- I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next pub
That pub was dead

Yo -- so I continued on the A1 north St Albans City Centre.
Girls were hot drinking tons of martini's 
Wouldn't share though, the were just being meanies 
Jealous 'cause I'm not geting mine
Straight to the bar for a glass of wine
Massive cue for a drink, this shit aint cool 
I'm getting pissed off cos i want some "Eight Ball" 
Fuck me! I just heard the last bell
I grabbed a tenner -- ''can i get served?' i yelled
'You're too late' got chucked out real fast
Jumped in my car, slammed on the gas 
Gotta find a nightclub thats cool and packed 
I'm trying to get there before i'm too fucked
Police on the scene, You know what I mean
They passed me up, cos they out to buy doughnuts
If there was some booze, yo I'll drink it
Check out the way that i casually link it

Refrain

Take heed, 'cause I like to drink moet
Thats a kind of wine just in case you didn't know it
My town, theres some pubs to be found
Enough to shake and kick holes in the ground
'Cause my drinks will never spill 
Drink so much, lose my vision and feel
Paralytic and drunk, This is a hell of a concept 
Give me a drink and you want to step with this
Lee's trying to get laid, slice like a ninja 
Down vodka so fast, Other pissheads say, "damn"
If whisky was a drug, I'd drink it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the bar while I drink my juice
If there was a sambuka, Yo -- I'll drink it!
Check out my swig while my barman pours it

Refrain

Yo man -- Let's get out of here! To the kebab shop! Word to yo mama!

Refrain

Parody of U cant touch this : I like Biscuits

I like biscuits (Repeat 5x)

My my my hunger hits me so hard
Makes me say "Oh my Lord"
Thank you for blessing me
With a ginger snap and a garibaldi
It feels good when you scoff them down
A Jaffa cake from the newsagent in town 
And I'm known as such
And these are mine so you can't touch

I told you homeboy (i like biscuits)
Yeah that's how we dunking and you know (i like biscuits)
Look at my eyes, man (i like biscuits)
Yo, let me eat the funky biscuits (i like biscuits)

Fresh new typess, advance
You gotta like that, it will your tea enhance
So move, outta your seat
And get a jaffa cake so orangy and sweet 
While you're munching, hold on 
Nibble a bourbon cos you know it's going on
Like that, like that 
Dunk it in your coffee, more addictive than crack 
Let 'em know, that you're too much
And this are my savouries that you can't touch

Yo, I told you (i like biscuits)
Why you standing there, man? (i like biscuits)
Yo, sound the bell, school is in, sucka (i like biscuits) 

Eating Hob Nobs in Rhythm 
Make 'em sweet, that's what i'm lickin 'em
Now, they know
You talking about the Greenfield you talking about confectionary
That's creamy, and light 
Made a few crumbs so pass me a wipe
Or a rich tea, to learn
What's it gonna take to make the calories burn
Off me? Legit
Take a senecot and have a massive shit

That's word because you know... 

I like biscuits (Repeat 3x)

Break it down! (Music breaks down) Stop, Greenfield time!

Go with the Kit Kat, it is said
That if you can't enjoy Hersheys then you probably are dead
So wave your Twix in the air
Take a few bites, 3 more fingers to spare 
This is it, for a winner 
Eatin all these biscuits aint gonna get thinner
Move, open your gob 
Just for a minute let's all do the hob, nob, nob 

Yeah... (i like biscuits 
Look, man (i like biscuits)
You better get hype, boy, because you know (i like biscuits)
Ring the bell, school's back in (i like biscuits)

Break it down! (Crazy bridge) Stop, snack time! 

i like biscuits (Repeat 4x)

Break it down! (Nice snacks, Greenfield) Stop, lunch time!

Every time you see me 
In sainsburys friday night 
I'm in there to buy biscuits, they're creamy, yum and light
Now why would I ever stop doing this?
With asda making biscuitss that just don't hit
I've bought around the world, from places like ebay
It's "bourbons, give me bourbons, yummy bourbons, mm bourbons"
And the rest can go and play 

I like biscuits (Repeat 8x)

Parody of You to me are everything : Tits to me are everything

I would take your tits out of your blouse for you,
fondle them a bit if you asked me to.
I'd do anything to you, your wish is my command.
your melons feel like mountains when they're cupped inside my hand.
Words can not express how much tits mean to me,
take off all your clothes so that i can see.
If i have a heart attack, you know I'll pay the price.
For an eyeful of those titties I'd gladly sacrifice.

Tits to me are everything,
the sweetest flesh that I could lick, oh baby, oh baby!
To you I guess I'm just a clown
be gentle when you're going down, oh baby, oh baby!

I'll give you just a taste of love to build your hopes upon,
you know its gonna get messy, so wear a big apron.
So now you've tongued the best of me,
come on and lick the rest of me, oh baby!
Lie down on the bed, and spread those legs apart.
Man those heaving jugs are a work of art.
If it takes forever, girl, then I'm prepared to wait.
In the meantime i'll watch porn and probably masturbate.

Tits to me are everything...
Tits to me are everything, the sweetest flesh
that I could lick, oh baby, oh baby! (repeated 3 times & fade out)

 

 

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